STUPID

My energy has been zapped by the stupid people of the world this week. I think there was some kind of convention of stupid people in town this week. Every time one of them opened their mouths to speak...something stupid would come out. There were days I felt like I was in a Charlie Brown cartoon. I was speaking, but I only heard the voice of the teacher coming from these people--wah..wah...wah. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Maybe today will be better..TGIF!!!!

Check out "Dumb Laws" over in The Playground. TalK about STUPIDITY at work!

TEXAS Aftermath

Texas was not kind to Jeff G. and Tony. Jeff had trouble with his car all day and couldn't seem to get it dialed in to compete with the leaders. He finished 15th and is now 5th in the points.

Tony ran good for most of the day, but something in his engine blew and his car caught fire. Luckily Tony was able to get out of his car and only suffered a few burns. Tony finished a dismal 31st. This is the first time Tony has not been in the top ten in points since September 2003--that's 52 weeks Tony has been in the top 10 in points.
http://msn.foxsports.com/nascar/story/3547406


Next week the boys are at Phoenix--that's Saturday night racing!!!

Darwin Award

You be the judge.

First Entry for The 2006 Darwin Awards

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington USA
appeared to be the robber's first and last.

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms, A gun shop specializing in
handguns.

2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.

3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol
car parked at the front door.

4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before
work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and
fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol. The officer and a clerk
promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk
with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their
guns, several of whom also fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the
scene by Paramedics.

Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop.
The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified
rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of
fire. Here we are at the beginning of March and we already may have the 2005
winner of the Darwin Award. This guy is going to be hard to beat.

Texas

The boys are in the Lone Star State this weekend!

Hope Jeff can continue his winning ways this week. He hasn't won at Texas. It would be great if he did this weekend. It would be great if Tony could win at Texas too.

GOOD LUCK GUYS!

Here is Texas by the numbers courtesy of NASCAR.com http://www.nascar.com/2005/news/features/btn/04/15/texas/index.html

Yuck

i just don't have the strength today to post anything of my own...but let me leave you with these words of wisdom from Bill Gates.

Subject: Bill Gates address
Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

RULE 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

RULE 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

RULE 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

RULE 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.

RULE 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

RULE 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

IF YOU CAN READ THIS—THANK A TEACHER!
IF YOU ARE READING IT IN ENGLISH—THANK A SOLDIER!

6 degrees and other musings

I was sitting around with several friends of mine during 2004 superbowl (the one with the "wardrobe malfunction" incident) playing "6 degrees of Kevin Bacon". Yes, I know it was the superbowl and all, but the game wasn't very exciting at the point so we decided to kill some time. My friend Jim and I seem to have huge fountains of useless information floating aroung in our heads. We can recall at various times crazy information most normal human beings don't know. It is freakishly scary to those who do not understand its power. Back to the story...both Jim and I were able to connect Ronald Reagan to Kevin Bacon. Ole' Ronnie was once married to Jane Wyman who was in Falcon Crest with Lorenzo Llamas who was in Grease with John Travolta who was in Phenomenon with Kyra Sedgwick who is..you guessed it...married to Kevin Bacon.

OK--for those who care...Britney Spears is pregnant.

If you are a "Star Wars" fan...you must acquire Darth Tater. That's right..Mr. Potatohead has come over to the Dark Side. I have mine. Bought it at Walmart for under $8.00

Only 1 month and 6 days till the new Star Wars movie is out and we can see how Darth Vader became Darth Vader.

Last Night's Top Ten List

Top Ten Signs You're Not Getting Enough Sleep
10. You always fall asleep on airplanes--and you're the pilot.
9. Can't even stay awake for the two minuntes it takes to have sex.
8. You're so fatigued, you get winded chewing gum.
7. When asked to describe yourself, most people say "Lethargic Sumbitch".
6. Your typical lunch: coffee grounds on whole wheat.
5. You schedule unnecessary surgery just for the three hours of general anesthetic.
4. (Writers too tired to write number four)
3. You take naps at work--only problem, you sleep in the nude.
2. Duties as President limit you to a mere 11 hours a night.
1. You're beginning to think Michael Jackson might be innocent.

To see more Top Tens visit http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/

The Strip

As you can see I reside in the metropolis known as Lubbock. For those who have never dared to venture to this part of the state, Lubbock is dry. I'm not talking about all the dirt that blows around on an occasional windy...i am talking you can't go into your local convenience store and buy a six pack.

You have to travel outside the city limits to purchase your adult beverages of choice. Most of the stores are located in a little area known as "The Strip". At night it looks like Vegas with all the neon signs. Talk 'bout encouraging drinking and driving. If it is close to last call to purchase your beverages for the night..BEWARE. You need the skills of a NASCAR driver to avoid the onslaught of speeding cars.

Come on Lubbock...it is 2005! Even in Waco you can buy a six pack at the convenience store.

Martinsville

CONGRATS JG!!!

WELCOME BACK TO VICOTRY LANE JEFF!!!

Down 3 laps during the race..and what seemed like an uphill battle, he came through to capture his second win of the year.

So he had to bump Mr. Kurt Busch out of the way. Please--------Jeff's car was faster than his and he should have given Jeff the lane. That's just part of racing.
Jeff did apologize to Kurt.

Tony ran well, but like so many others yesterday he too had tire problems...ok his fell completely off his car, but he did lead the most laps. That's 10 extra points and moves him into 5th in the standings..just above Jeff G.

And what about Dale. Jr? He finished 13th yesterday big whoop!

Next week's race is TEXAS!!! That's right folks---TEXAS!!!

If you would like more info on yesterday's race check out the scoop on http://www.nascar.com

NASCAR

Another weekend of NASCAR..Martinsville! Jeff G. finished in the top 15, but there were a couple of mishaps along the way. At least Jeff didn't have problems exiting the pits like last year. Tony finished 3rd after spinning his car--no "wall check" was performed or another car hit. That was some damn fine drivin' Tony!

Kudos go out to Bobby H. Jr.--didn't know one little bump could cause such a mess

Poor Kurt..didn't know what he hit...I still cringe every time I think of his car hitting #31! OUCH!!!

NASCAR will be close to my backyard next week...TEXAS!!!!

Good Luck Jeff & Tony!

PS--DJ glad you decided to race the truck!

TRUNK MONKEY

Trunk Monkey commercials are must see....

Here's the website.... http://search.aimhome.netscape.com/aim/boomframe.jsp?query=trunk+monkey&page=1&offset=0&result_url=redir%3Fsrc%3Dwebsearch%26requestId%3Da9cbed00cbe2efde%26clickedItemRank%3D1%26userQuery%3Dtrunk%2Bmonkey%26clickedItemURN%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.trunkmonkey.com%252F%26invocationType%3D-%26fromPage%3DAIMToolbar%26amp%3BampTest%3D1&remove_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trunkmonkey.com%2F

Dukes of Hazzard

I am not sure making a full length movie about "Dukes of Hazzard" was such a good idea. I remember as a kid watching the TV series every Friday night...never missed it. But why are they making a movie out of it...have you seen the show? It's not exactly MUST SEE TV. I mean what exactly did Bo and Luke do for a living? I know Daisy worked as a waitress in the Boar's Nest, but other than that did these people have jobs? As always in the end the Dukes triumph over Boss and Roscoe.
The only positive I see with the movie is who is slated to be Uncle Jesse--Willie Nelson. Who wouldn't want Willie as there uncle??? Oh well..just some random thought. Just a reminder..if you are not sure about something always think to yourself..WWWD (What Would Willie Do)

Play on Willie